jaclcfrost:

[slams fist down on the table] who gave your voice permission to sound that attractive

kuroshitsuji:

He knew exactly what to whisper, how to make me melt. 
The demon took my secrets and innocence and
I am left with nothing but regret.

(Source: bona-chokoreto)

seselapod:

dingoinnuendo:

GRANDMA WANTED ME TO TELL YOU SHES MAKING STEW TONIGHT

FUCK YEAH

(Source: jackwhynand)

How to do human transmutation

thebowtiepenguin:

Step 1: RECONSIDER

If I’m comfortable with you, I’ll:

jiidesu:

niicolodean:

  • call you names
  • tell you weird and personal details about myself
  • say “I NEED TO PEE” instead of just brb
  • type in caps a lot.

If i’m extra comfortable with you I’ll do all that and:

  • talk casually about porn and really perverted thoughts 
  • share funny photos from my tumblr dash
  • actually tell you when i’m upset 
  • try to make conversation with you 
  • just generally act really silly when I’m in a good mood
  • tell you jokes even if they’re bad 

batched:

notsosilentwallflower:

batched:

knightlock:

how much do boy/girlfriend cost

at least 3 potato

didn’t it use to be 2 potato

the recession hit us hard

steel & flame — an evolution of royed

(Source: alkahestic)

dolphinsweater:

comicshans:

I googled ‘knockoff mcdonalds’ and was not disappointed

Michael Alone

dirkbot:

Do you ever have passive OTPs

Like, you don’t read fic, you don’t look for art

but whenever something turns up you’re like hell fuckin yea